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 Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know

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PostSubject: Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know   Sun 24 Dec - 13:58

How to Break Up

Like the song says, "Breaking Up is Hard to Do." Sooner or later, you may find that you want to leave a relationship, and you'll need to let the other person know. This article gives some suggestions to help you through the breakup.


  1. Know for sure that you really do want to break up. If you are simply upset with your partner, you should consider talking about what upset you rather than ending the relationship.
  2. If you are married, breaking up is even more complicated. Seek marriage counseling if possible, but at the very least, speak with an attorney prior to ending the relationship. In some areas, simply moving out prior to taking legal action to terminate the relationship can have a serious impact on the results of a divorce. By leaving, you may inadvertently assume blame for the end of the marriage through "abandonment".
  3. Before having "the talk" that ends the relationship, think about the reasons you are breaking up. Your partner will ask you why you want out, and you should be prepared with answers. If you have trouble remembering examples during emotional discussions or arguments, write your reasons down in advance.
  4. Plan out how long you are willing to spend "breaking up" and stick to your schedule. You may even want to arrange an appointment with a friend in a neutral location so that you can say "I'm supposed to meet John at the restaurant in fifteen minutes, so I have to go now."
  5. Sit down with your partner and let him or her know that you need to have a serious talk. When asked "why?" or "about what?", simply respond that you've decided to end the relationship.
  6. Expect your partner to do any or all of the following:

    • Question -- He or she will want to know why, and whether there was anything he or she could have done to prevent the breakup. Answer the questions as honestly as possible.
    • Cry -- The other person will likely be upset, and it will show. It is okay to comfort him or her, but don't allow yourself to be manipulated into changing your decision.
    • Argue -- He or she may dispute anything you've said during the breakup, including examples you used in your reasons for breaking up. Don't get dragged into a fight, and don't split hairs. Let your partner know that arguing isn't going to change your decision.
    • Bargain/Beg -- He or she may offer to change, or to do things differently in order to preserve the relationship. If the person didn't change when you've discussed your problems in the past, it is too late to expect him or her to truly change now.
    • Lash Out -- Whether it's as simple as saying "You'll never find anyone as good as me" or as scary as saying "I'll make you regret this", he or she is usually just trying to make himself or herself feel better.


  • Expect to spend at least one hour "breaking up", and longer if the relationship lasted a year or more.
  • If at all possible, break the news "on their turf," i.e. at his/her home. At least be somewhere that they feel comfortable. They'll want to feel safe enough to cry/get angry/make a scene in general. While they might be willing to do these things at your place, making someone go home after getting news like that will make them more bitter.
  • Many people feel that it is poor etiquette to break up by phone, e-mail, or through an instant messenger system. It is easier to break up with someone if you don't have to look the person in the eye, but you may lose the respect of your mutual friends if you take the easy way out.
  • If you are sure you want to break up with somebody, it is best done sooner rather than later. However, if your partner has had a particularly bad day already, you may want to consider waiting for a better moment. Breaking up with them when they are already down will make them feel awful.
  • While honesty is the best policy, you may want to soften the blow by avoiding sensitive issues (for example, most don't want to hear "I'm breaking up with you because your breath smells" ). However, being too vague can cause the other person to become even more upset.
  • If at all possible, don't disappear as a method of ending a relationship. It shows a lack of respect both for the person and the relationship you had.

  • Never threaten that you will break up with your partner. If you have problems or concerns, work through them or break up. Threats of any kind will only make the relationship worse.
  • Threats of physical harm are serious and should not be ignored. If you feel that your safety is at risk, contact the police as soon as it is safe to do so and request a restraining order.
How to Get Over a Break Up

We all go through breakups. They can be rough, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. Breakups are handled differently by different people. These steps may not be perfect for everyone, but they can help!


  1. Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and one discordant person is enough to have it break up.
  2. Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. But you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided.
  3. Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, take a complete break from each other immediately after the breakup. That means no seeing each other, no phone calls, no e-mails, no IMing, and most importantly, no sex- not necessarily as a permanent measure (except where sex is concerned), but until you feel that you can converse with him/her like a normal person, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive).
  4. Think through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time.
  5. Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason.
  6. Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain.
  7. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" what you're supposed to be learning from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.
  8. Keep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, try to think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that.
  9. Don't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup.
  10. Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things. As they say, the best revenge is living well.
  11. Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that although your relationship with that person was very unique and special in a lot of ways, all good things must come to an end. And when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together.

  • You have to walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel all this and that you did your part, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine.
  • Do not put yourself through more pain than you have to. Do not think about where he or she would be right now and if you should visit. Don't try to talk to him or her about the break up. Don't make yourself think negatively about yourself or your judgment, or anything else that will make you doubt your decisions or yourself.
  • Listen to a song that makes you feel empowered and happy. Do it as often as you need to.
  • If you want to save things from the relationship (letters, ticket stubs, that cute pink teddy bear), put it in a box. Put all of your other ex's things in the box, too. Look through the box every once in awhile; you'll see that yes, he or she was important, but you were you before that person came along, and you will be you now.
  • Remember that your ex is trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that.
  • As trite as it may sound, this one bears repeating: find something constructive to do -- something that will hold your attention and require you to focus and get interested. Once you've spent a few days (or weeks) indulging the grief, it's time to take a class or maybe join a book group. Find something that gets you out of the house and out of your circular thought process and involves your brain or your creative side. Sometimes you've forgotten who you were before you hooked up with the person you're so sad about now, and you need to wake yourself up a bit and remember that you used to have fun doing things you've forgotten about since then. You've got a brain, go use it for something besides re-running old memories!
  • Remember those old catch phrases: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "Everything happens for a reason", "There are other fish in the sea" and likewise. When you go through a break up or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding true happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include marriage or romantic relationships... and that is O.K., no matter what you do in life.

  • Don't look for distractions from the pain, emptiness, or heartache. You're *supposed* to grieve a lost relationship in which you'd invested yourself emotionally. Ride it out--turning to destructive distractions like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, etc. will only make things worse, and can actually prolong the entire grieving process. If you try to hide from the pain, it just waits around the corner and jumps out at you as soon as the temporary relief of your "distraction" wears off. The best and only way to get to the other side of the sadness is to go straight through it with a clear head. Believe it or not, it's the fastest way as well. You will feel better.
  • If you were the one who got "dumped," avoid the temptation to chase after your ex, ask them questions about what went wrong, and try to "fix" everything. It will only strengthen your ex's resolve to push you away, and will make the breakup much harder and more painful than it needs to be.
  • Be wary of people who are willing to let you prove how sexually proficient you are. They will have as many feelings for you as wolves do for rabbits. All you’ll be to them is a handy way to satisfy an appetite.
  • If your ex has done things to hurt you (other than breaking up), don't drop to that level. It's pathetic and cruel.
  • Although you may be tempted to take revenge, or send notification through third parties about your great success in life without them -- don't exert the energy. Allow Karma to take care of everything on its own.
Things You'll Need

  • You can do it without the following items, but they are highly recommended for the most rewarding (yes, really!) experience possible:
  • A few shoulders to cry on. It really does help to talk about it, preferably to more than just one person (if only to give your best friend some relief).
  • A Teddy Bear (for hugs and to talk to at 4am when everyone else is asleep.) Dogs and cats will do too, although pets may not always give you quite that loving sympathetic gaze and undivided attention that bears are so good at.
  • Hot showers (As much as you may not even want to get out of bed, much less get in the shower -- *sniffle* "who cares if I wash my hair now, anyway?" --you WILL feel better after a shower, or a nice long soak in the tub. Hot water relaxes tense muscles, soothes anxiety and refreshes puffy, tear-stained faces.
  • Paper and pens (a journal is perfect, paints and glue and other illustration tools, even better!)
  • Funny movies and absorbing novels can be a great temporary respite and laughter can really lighten your mood.
  • If you're one of the millions who try to fill that empty sad feeling through your mouth (which usually doesn't work because food isn't what you're missing), fill the fridge with celery sticks and other light snacks that you won't regret later if you just have to munch.
  • Your sense of humor and your knowledge that "this too shall pass".
  • Lots of tissues.
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PostSubject: Re: Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know   Sun 24 Dec - 14:03

How to Define Love

Love is wisdom in action. Love is action and no action together. Love is all that is. Love knows nothing but love. Love transcends mind. Love is the inner substance of light. Love is an effervescent feeling that seems to escape definition.
There are four kinds of “love” -AGAPE, PHILEO, STORGE, and EROS in ancient Greek culture.
Agape love is an unconditional love. It loves and cares when there is no apparent reason to care. Example is the type of love God shows toward us.
Phileo love is that “something” that you see in another person that draws you to be their friend.
Storge is a physical show of affection like Hug and Kiss that results from a pure motive.
Eros is the fulfillment of the physical sexual desire that a husband and wife show toward each other.


  1. Consider if he/she is always there for you, and if you are always there for him or her.
  2. Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change.
  3. Remember that it must be unconditional to be pure love.

  • Read 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible, the Love Chapter
  • For inspiration, read Elizabeth Barrett Browning's famous poem, "How Do I Love Thee," (see below)
  • If you feel the flutter of butterflies in your stomach, Cupid has probably shot you with his arrow.
  • Make sure it's not lust, but love.
  • Be aware during those moments when you feel love towards anyone or anything.
  • Capture that feeling with metaphors, and string them all together into a poem.
  • Put your description of love to a melody and write a song.
  • Find objects that symbolize your love (rings and roses are classic examples) and give them to whomever you love.
  • Lust could lead to love.

  • When you find true love, be careful. That type of love remains with you forever.
  • True love may come only once in a lifetime.
  • Just because you feel this way doesn't mean the other person does!
  • If someone tells you true love only happens once, they have seen too many Disney films. People are capable of loving many times, so if your "true love" turns out to be abusive or makes you cry more than smile, don't hang on just because you think you will never love this way again.
  • Remember that your friends love you too, and if all of your friends think there is something wrong or unhealthy with your relationship/infatuation, you should really examine that. You may think that they don't see what you see in someone. However, they may see something that you don't too. They love you and want you to be happy, and that's what you need to remember when thinking about the concerns they express about your chosen partner.
  • Remember there are many levels of love, and pure love is unconditional love. Just because someone says they love you doesnt mean they love you purely nor that they dont love you. Their actions will tell.
How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust

While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.


1.Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.

2. Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.

3. See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.

4. Read literature on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Narcissus and Echo, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

5. Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.

6. Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.


  • Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
  • To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.
  • Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
  • Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
  • Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships?
  • A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.
  • Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings.
  • Give it time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately.

  • If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?

How to Express Your Feelings to the One You Love

Love is not about giving or receiving gifts but about sharing each other's feelings and letting each other know how much you really care. You need to be romantic, creative, and unique. The best way to show someone you really care is by words, you need to make them feel special. You need to say something coming from the heart.


  1. Think about all the great moments that you have shared with that person for inspiration. If you think you won't remember, write it down or even better, make it into a poem.
  2. Try to think of words that can describe what your feelings towards him/her are. The happiness you feel when you are around him/her and the necessity you have to being with him/her.
  3. Find a place that where you'll be comfortable and alone.
  4. Finally, just say it. Don't try to think of the perfect time to say it because sometimes it will never come out, if you become too nervous. If you didn't prepare anything to say, just speak your heart out.

  • Do not stress about it. They are your feelings; you just need to learn how to express them.
  • You don't need to be at a fancy place to tell him/her that you love them. Just pick a somewhere were you could be alone.
  • If you want to be romantic, go somewhere special. For example; you can go where you both met, where you first kissed each other or just somewhere with a nice view or a place that is special to both of you.
  • Don't forget to say "I love you," and if you really mean it, say it a lot because that person will never get tired of hearing it.
How to Tell a Guy You Love Him

How to tell him that you feel something more...


  1. Send him love notes: tell him how important he is to you. This might involve subtle hints, compliments, or mentions of how glad you are that he's involved in your life. Ie; "Talking to you is always fun/I love it when we can just hang out and talk."
  2. Give him homemade cookies; or just anything homemade in general. It'll show that you were thoughtful enough to go out of your way for him.
  3. Hug him and provide support when he needs it. If he doesn't want to speak about the issue, don't push it-- just let him know that you care enough, and if he's willing to talk, you're willing to listen.
  4. Find a private place for you to talk with him. Propose the idea beforehand, see his reaction.
  5. Tell him you love him.

  • Be sure that you actually do love the guy before you tell him. Never say it unless you are absolutely sure.

  • If the guy does not share your feelings, it is not the end of the world. Saying "I love you" is a very serious thing for most men because it implies committment. Just wait it out, without putting too much pressure on him, and hopefully he will honestly say the same back to you.
  • Do not tell him after you make love. Often times the endorphins from the act of love will make you feel like you are in love when you are not, in fact.
How to Deal With Falling in Love

Guys! If you have ever fallen in love, then you know that you can feel 'happy' or 'miserable'. If you don't take the chance then you will never know how a loving feeling feels.


  1. Love can make you happy, or it can cause you pain. Loving a girl that loves you back is the goal of every relationship.
  2. Decide if the girl really feels the same as you do, before you go all out, buy her expensive gifts and spend a lot of money on your dates.
  3. Build the relationship first. Some girls do not like a person to be too overpowering, or too 'giving'. They might just take advantage of you, and then break up with you.
  4. Get to know each other, talk and laugh, and share stories about family, pets, books, and movies you enjoy. It is always better to fall in love with someone who is also your best friend.
  5. Enjoy each other, and date, and if, in time, you fall out of love with her, or she with you, accept it. here is really nothing you can do to change it. Enjoy the moment, and then go on to the future.

  • If you really love that girl, try to get her back. Do not beg, just talk to her, and see if there is a chance of getting together again. If she says no, then accept it and go on.
  • Do not let the circumstances from a past love make you fearful of loving someone new.
  • Truly, there are 2 forms of "love." A strong, long-lasting one and a short, but initially just as strong love. Before you make the decision that you really do love this person, give it some time and a lot of thought.

  • Girls might be playing games with you. Some enjoy making a guy love them, so that they can break up with them. Be aware of this. Listen with your ears, and not your heart.
  • If you sense that she is not being truthful, then accept your feelings. Get out and meet someone else.

Last edited by ida_mae on Mon 25 Dec - 7:45; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know   Sun 24 Dec - 14:23

walay something technical ngari? puro lagi love2x...... :-/
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PostSubject: Re: Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know   Tue 26 Dec - 9:12

verna wrote:
walay something technical ngari? puro lagi love2x...... :-/
but wait, wa lang cguro ka kasugat ani mam
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PostSubject: Re: Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know   Wed 27 Dec - 6:31

tama! tama! Smile thanks jmc!!! Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Some How Tos in Life that You Need to Know   Thu 28 Dec - 11:51

How to French Kiss

You have seen it done often in the movies and probably on the street in darkened corners. The French kiss is a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas!


  1. Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. Carry mints with you if you think there is even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss. Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, onions, milk, and corn.
  2. Moisten your lips. Dry lips do not move well together, but you do not want them to be dripping wet either. Just a light brush of your tongue over your lips will be sufficient to moisten them. A little bit of lip balm can help, too, but be warned, lipstick can be awfully messy so blot before you kiss.
  3. Angle your head. If your mouths meet dead-on, your noses will get in the way, and you will not be able to kiss deeply or smoothly. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly to one side. Make sure you do not both tilt your heads to the same side.
  4. Close your eyes. As you approach for the kiss, look into your partner's eyes, but, once you are close to theirs, close your eyes. It can be a bit of a turnoff to be kissing and going cross-eyed .
  5. Start with a gentle and soft closed-mouth kiss. The French kiss is an open-mouth kiss, but do not lunge in with your lips agape like you're going to eat them; instead, open your lips very slowly. If you were learning to speak French, you would probably start with the basics, vocabulary and grammar, before trying to write poetry. Well, the French kiss is like the poetry of kissing, and before you can be good at it, you have to master the closed-mouth kiss. Even after you have added French kissing to your romantic repertoire, it is usually better to start a kiss with closed lips.
  6. Go Dutch on the decision to French. Kissing should be a shared decision. You need to have permission to French kiss someone, but when your lips are locked with your theirs you may want to stop and ask, "Hey, this is great, but can I put my tongue in your mouth?" If that doesn't work out, open your lips slowly and just a little during the kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner's lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your partner's tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when you are both ready.
  7. Explore with your tongue. If you and your partner seem to be enjoying the open-mouth kiss, slowly try to open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant and stimulating for each of you. Do not stick your tongue too far into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently and playfully touch tongues.
  8. Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same. Once you finally feel comfortable French kissing someone, it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time. Add variety. Sometimes kiss deeper, for example, and other times pay more attention to the lips than the tongue. Hold the kiss longer or shorter and explore the art of kissing. When something feels good for each of you, do not abandon it for the sake of variety.
  9. Read body language. Everybody kisses a little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss - there is no "right" way to kiss. What separates good kissers from bad is an ability to read a partner's body language and be responsive to their partner. Of course if your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down. Listen for cues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, realize that they are responding with fervor.
  10. Develop your style. Good French kissing, like good kissing of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you.


  • Breathe! Forgetting to breathe is probably the most common French kissing error. Do not hold your breath--everybody needs to breathe, and it is a lot more awkward when you have to pull away gasping for air than if you're breathing normally. Breathe through your nose, and try to keep a normal rhythm. As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
  • Teeth are a sensitive subject. You definitely do not want to bump teeth with each other. It is not only awkward, but can hurt as well. It might inevitably happen at times, so do not worry when it does. You may want to try rubbing the backs or fronts of the teeth of the other person with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. Not everyone enjoys having someones tongue rubbing on their teeth, and many do not like to touch teeth with their tongue.
  • Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that's comfortable for each each of you. This works in reverse, too. Just because someone doesn't kiss you like you are used to does not mean they are a bad kisser. As long as you are not uncomfortable with the kiss, try to be open-minded, as you just might like the new style.
  • Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss. Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close your lips. This will give your your partner the hint.
  • There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner's upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.
  • Use your hands. Your hands are important to kissing, and you should use them to make the kiss more romantic. Lightly hold your partner's face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck, or wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace. The most important thing about using your hands is that you respect your partner's boundaries. Play with the ears with your fingers, as this is very stimulating. The second most important thing (much less important than the first) is that your hands should do something. Don't just let them hang at your sides; it will seem like you're not into the kiss, and you'll look like an ape.
  • Talk about it. A lot of people have difficulty talking about intimacy, but open communication is important to all parts of a relationship. If you really like the way your partner kisses you, let them know. If you don't like something, also let your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the same time on something they did that you liked. Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together!


  • When you use your tongue to nudge your partner's lips, don't press hard, and don't keep trying if they do not want to open their lips. Do not force a person into a French kiss as your partner will resent you if you do.
  • Offer your partner a breath mint, and take one yourself before kissing. This ensures that you won't be recoiling from your date nor they from you.
  • To some people a hard tongue is a turn-off. Keep tongue and lips soft and supple...think of the pressure used to lick a soft servie ice cream cone, no probing with a stiff tongue unless the other enjoys it. use variations too to mix it up. Now go practice!
  • You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other. Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you could cut your tongue).
  • Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not be afraid to pull away for a moment.
  • If you ever feel uncomfortable or do not want to move forward with any move your partner is attempting, pull away and let your partner know that you want to stop. Be firm. It's OK to say NO.
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